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“Warren Bannister”, Derby: Ena Sharples meets bulldog
“Warren Bannister Partnership Gloucester” burglar alarm, Cirencester, 2007 • Printed on what appears to be a photocopy, this label is peeling from an elderly alarm in the West Country, where life moves...
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“Scaff Guard”, Kensington: a very gory bulldog
“Scaff Guard Ltd” burglar alarm, City of Westminster, 2010 • The word slavering could have been invented for this comically rabid beast, my final Tory dog for now. Appropriately for such a hammy...
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Nameless alarm, Hanley: a classic pantomime burglar
Nameless burglar alarm, Stoke-on-Trent, 2010 • Felons on burglar alarms seem to come in two types only: the shadowy intruder, and the pantomime burglar. This is a prime example of the latter: stripey...
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“Tops”, Aylesbury: burglar or banker?
“Tops Security Solutions” burglar alarm, Aylesbury • Peer closely at this and you’ll see a frowning, potato-faced fellow in an eye mask and stripey t-shirt positively pelting along beneath the logo....
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“TR Security”, Tower Hamlets: Grimm psychodrama
“TR Security Alarms” burglar alarm, Tower Hamlets • This isn’t a cartoon, it’s a psychodrama. It’s so troubling it reminds me of a Grimm’s fairy tale, or one of those scary 1960s eastern european...
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“Wilton”, Salisbury: half man, half wasp
“Wilton Alarm Services” burglar alarm, Salisbury • Possibly inspired by Jeff Goldblum in The Fly, what we have here is a creature half human, half insect, and all bonkers. Its nether regions are...
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“Videotech”, Islington: detection on drugs
“Videotech Security” burglar alarm, Islington • I know Sherlock Holmes was into drugs, but this is ridiculous. He’s grown to immense proportions and is squinting at a rubbery gingerbread-style house...
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“Frome Security Centre”, Frome: a duck enchained
“Frome Security Centre” burglar alarm, Frome • Frome (pronounced Froome) is an arty little Somerset wool town that was once a hotbed of non-conformism, and is full of interesting old architecture...
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“Kestrel Alarms”, Brighton: hostile takeover
“Kestrel Alarms” burglar alarm, Brighton • Last week cages, this week birds. I had so many bird alarms I divided them into two parts. The first was “arbitrary birds“, which were random and generally...
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Trust Alarms, Camden: blubbing
“Trust Alarms” burglar alarm, Camden • Another version of the superb blubbing house I featured here, near the start of this blog. • Spotted: Leather Lane, Camden, London, EC1, England, 2011 •...
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B.D. Security, Fulham: barking
“B.D. Security” burglar alarm, Hammersmith and Fulham • I have long been waiting to show this excellent cartoon logo, in which which I think B.D. stands for ‘barking dog’. There weren’t any guard dogs...
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